Praying, Thinking and Reflecting!!

I've spent these last couple of weeks in deep thought. As I reflect on 2011...it really wasn't one of my favorite years.

Sam started it in a body brace as we dealt with the diagnosis of Perthes...and yet I found hope.

When Sam became more stable my health took a downward spiral...and yet I found strength.

I went on an amazing road trip...and I knew I was blessed.

Ben almost lost his life in a truck accident...and I am thankful that he is still with me.

Sam's Perthes continued to progress...and yet I gained knowledge and found more hope.

My father-in-law was diagnosed with colon cancer...and I continue to pray.

I am often asked how I stay positive and I can assure you that it is through faith alone. I'm not that strong, my emotions are worn on my sleeve for good or bad. I cry at sad movies, heck I can cry at a simple act of kindness. Sam's journey has stripped away my buffers, my shell, my mirage of the strong, independent, capable person I like people to think I am. I hurt deeper, I feel things stronger, and it is only by the grace of God that I pull myself up by the boot straps, smile and carry on. But these challenges...these insights into who I am...are the same things that are changing me, building me, bettering me...shaping me into the person God wants me to become. When I was younger I thought I had things pretty well figured out. I worked hard, I liked obtaining the goals I set, I had plans, I had dreams...and I was going to obtain them.

Hmmm, maybe that was part of the problem...a lot of that thinking was all about me. If I was going to have a successful career, marriage, friendships, life in general...I needed to think about others. I always knew I was a bit stubborn, hard-headed and didn't always take direction very well but I always thought that was a strength. I mean...tell me I can't do something and I'll prove to you I can. I have always been more of an introvert but I want people to view me as an extrovert. I like to be in control and I always thought I did a good job doing it.

But now I'm older, wiser and my journey on this earth has taught me so very much. God knew about my stubbornness and he sent me three children, but two (not just one, that wouldn't have been enough) that required extra parenting and attention. I quickly learned when I became a Mom that I had lost my concept of control. When I found out Ben was dyslexic and had other learning issues I wanted to make that go away. I didn't want him to struggle...and yet it has been through the struggle and challenges that Ben has become the young man I see today. He's creative and he doesn't let much hold him back. He is persistent, smart, impulsive, strong and has one of the most impressive vocabularies and along with his wit, humor and quick come backs he is a joy to be around.

Danielle brought into my world a gentleness and a compassion that forever changed me. She is smart and has a wonderful sense of humor. She has my edge, my determination, my drive but she also has a heap of care and compassion. She shows some of my control issues, my sarcastic sense of humor and my goofiness, but she is stronger and wiser than I was. She can hold her own with both of her brothers and she doesn't feel neglected or left out considering the extra attention they both receive. She has an amazing personality and I enjoy her company.

And how do I even begin with Sam. Sam has taught me so much. If I thought I had any semblance of control Sam quickly let me know that I was mistaken. I will never forget the moment we were transferred to the ICU because Sam didn't seem to think breathing was that big of a deal. I will never forget how helpless I felt as I watched the monitor show me a heart rate that was too high and respiration's that were too low and an oxygen level that couldn't be maintained. I remember dropping to my knees and praying with everything I had for God to help Sam...to save Sam. I realized at that moment that I had no control, and all I could do was pray. I wanted to barter, make promises to God...show in some way, some how that I could still control the situation but Sam's stats quickly erased those thoughts from my mind and I simply prayed.

I wanted Sam to achieve his milestones in the same time frame of a typical child or even better. I wanted Sam to be that child with Down syndrome that defied the odds, that excelled above the rest, that others could look at and feel encouraged. But Sam and God had different plans. Sam didn't crawl until he was almost 2 years old and he didn't walk until he was over 3 years old. Every year I waited and waited for Sam's speech to take off. I was sure that by the time he was 4-5 years old he would be communicating easily and we would be having enjoyable conversations. At 4 years old Sam was still considered non-verbal. He had sounds and some words but he certainly wasn't talking up a storm like the other children with Down syndrome at our NACD evaluations. I had to really listen for Sam's words or to understand what he was saying and that's when I had my "aha" moment. I was a great talker but a not so great listener. Sam required me to become a better listener. He relied on me to talk with him and not at him, to talk at his level and to repeat and add to our conversations. In order for Sam to expand his speech we had to have balanced interactions, something we still strive to work on.

I learned strength and resilience through Sam. Sam's numerous medical issues have required me to be strong and resilient. I had to be able to think on my feet, to not become overwhelmed but instead find my inner strength. I would look at Sam and see his smile through the oxygen mask or watch his eyes light up when his family entered a room, or see him work on his breathing, strength training or therapies just to see our excited expression when he accomplished his goal and I would be stronger. How can I even think of giving up when I'm just the observer and I see this child, my child, fighting, working, challenging himself beyond my expectations.

The hardest lesson to learn has been to slow down and give Sam the time he needs and requires. Sam works with me everyday to instill an appreciation for time. Time given, time spent together, time waiting, focused time, time commitment, quiet time...and the list goes on. I could rush through life, stay on schedule and accomplish so much on my own...because that's what I always did. But then I'm not giving Sam...time. It would be easier to dress Sam instead of wait for him to get dressed on his own. It would be easier to make Sam breakfast then to have him learn how to make it himself. It would be quicker for me to complete the chores then to work through them with Sam. It would be easier for me to fill in the words Sam can't seem to pull out quickly than to wait for him to work them out on his own. It would be easier, it would be quicker...it wouldn't be fair to Sam. It wouldn't be what Sam is so desperately trying to teach me.

I never wanted to be a teacher, it wasn't my passion or calling but I did want to be a good parent. Ben was the first to require me to work more with him. Without training or education and with only the strong desire to help my child I had to figure out how Ben learned. I had to learn how to work with him, help him, challenge him and encourage him. Ben was just getting me ready for my journey into educating Sam. Through my journey with Ben and Sam I have gained a true appreciation for great teachers. I struggle with working with Ben and homeschooling Sam. I couldn't even imagine a class of 20-30 students. I have spent some time in the school system as a parent liaison for special needs families. I have met many great teachers but I still struggle with becoming completely comfortable with how our schools are set up and operate. I feel many schools are doing the best they possibly can to live up to the mandates of our government, but therein lies my problem. I don't feel the government should decide how our children are educated or how and what teachers are to teach. I enjoy working with Sam because I follow his lead, we dive deeper into areas that interest him and skim over those that don't. I don't need to test because my observations guide me on areas he needs more work on. I'm not trained to be a teacher...but could you imagine the wonderful things that could happen if a great teacher was given that freedom. The things our children would learn...the experiences they would have...the learning that could take place. I feel our schools do really well with the Danielle's of the world, those children who learn easily and test well. But we are missing the boat on the gifts our children like Ben and Sam have. They require those really great teachers who are going to figure out how they learn, embrace the differences and are ready to see the amazing outcomes.

Sam has required me to rethink so many things I thought I understood...and to change. I never struggled with school, it was easy for me as it is for Danielle. When I started to homeschool I tried to take my school experience and make it work for Sam. It didn't. He didn't like my well thought out lessons plans. Sam fought me tooth and nail. If Sam was going to work with me he wanted it to be fun. If Sam was going to work with me he wanted me to be available when he was ready. I have learned to incorporate puppets, throwing things, physical breaks, music, toy play, magnets and I never ever refer to it as work. Our schedule is flexible and I have come to realize that I am on Sam's time...not mine. I keep track of those things that work and try to re-create them in other areas of study. I have learned that what Sam doesn't like now doesn't mean he won't be ready for it at a later date...thus the ever growing Rubbermaid tubs of homeschool stuff that exist throughout my house. Sam requires me to be "in the moment" not typing on my computer or talking on the phone, not watching TV or doing a household chore without him...but instead to be there with him...listening, talking, being. I think Sam picks up more from our playing together, building puzzles, travelling, card games, chores, going to the zoo or other community field trips...then any of my scheduled lessons.

Sam has taught me the value of all people. I spent a lot of my younger years critiquing other peoples strengths and weaknesses. As I have gotten older I find myself critiquing my own strengths and weaknesses and now appreciating how we are all different and learning to embrace those differences. What Sam doesn't say is expressed so eloquently in his expressions and actions. I love and appreciate how Sam perceives his world. His reactions are pure, he has no buffers or shell, he isn't afraid to express himself, he chooses not to judge or be judged. He radiates love, joy and an appreciation of e v e r y t h i n g.

Like Sam...I am not worrying about the future...I am living in the day. I will strive to enjoy my time here on earth. I will strive to be present, available, loving and lovable. I am looking forward to each and every day! Good night everyone!

Let's Talk About The Myths Regarding Dyslexia!

I was recently asked to include a few items on my blog regarding Dyslexia. The first article submitted to me talked about "15 Common Myths About Dyslexia". I want to address each point of this article from the standpoint of a spouse of someone with Dyslexia and a parent of two children with Dyslexia. My responses are in italics.

Most people have heard of dyslexia and might even know someone who has it, but how many really know just what kind of learning difficulties it causes? Like most learning disabilities, there are a lot of myths and bits of misinformation surrounding dyslexia, and it can sometimes be difficult to separate fact from fiction, especially for those who don’t have or don’t know much about the condition.

Whether you’re pursuing a college degree in special education, have dyslexia yourself, or know someone who does, we’ve collected some of the most common misconceptions here so you can gain a better understanding of just what it all actually means — without all the potentially damaging myths getting in the way.

I want to first address the label of Dyslexia. I have the same problem with the label of Dyslexia as I have with a lot of labels. The label Dyslexia deals with a broad spectrum of learning differences. If you are told your child is Dyslexic it doesn't necessarily tell you what your child's specific issues are and what to do about them. The label itself is an umbrella that covers many different learning issues that are commonly associated together. But just like Down syndrome, no two Dyslexic children are alike. In my own family, my two children that would be given the label Dyslexia are very different. It is much more valuable to figure out what areas of a child's neurodevelopmental profile are not functioning properly. Are they cross dominant, do they have a visual or auditory processing issue, do they have a visual convergence issue, is there a fine motor issue involved? My son Ben is cross dominant and has an integration deficit in regard to his auditory processing while Sam is cross dominant but has an auditory decoding deficit in regard to his auditory processing, fine motor issues and he has visual and convergence issues.

1. People with dyslexia are less intelligent

   Despite the long-standing belief that if you can’t read well, you aren’t intelligent, there is no link between dyslexia and IQ. People of all intelligence levels can have the learning disability. Contrary to popular belief, there are quite a few highly intelligent, accomplished people out there who have difficulty reading due to dyslexia. Among them? William Butler Yeats, Albert Einstein, John Irving, and Charles Schwab.

   I find my husband and my sons to be highly intelligent. They may struggle with reading and writing but this in no way hinders their intelligence. In fact from our personal experience I would have to say that they are gifted in the area of mechanical aptitude and problem solving, just don't ask them to write things out for you...let them show you. The second item I was asked to include in my blog is a list of famous Dyslexic people. You can find this list at Patricia Duggan's site Psychology Degree or click on the word list to go directly to her site.

2. Reversing letters is a definitive sign of dyslexia

   Can reversing letters hint that a child may have dyslexia? Yes. But it is also a common phenomenon among children just learning how to write. They are still honing their fine motor skills, and it often takes some time for both dyslexic and non-dyslexic kids to properly form their letters. It actually may be more telling if a student has trouble naming the letters (a much stronger indicator of dyslexia), as only 10% of the diagnosed exhibit reversal symptoms.

   All three of my children had letter and number reversals. Yep, that's right I said all three. However Danielle does not have Dyslexia but letter reversal was something we saw as she was learning to write. Neither Ben nor Sam had any difficulty naming letters. Sam continues to have an issue with letter sound identification but that has more to do with his hearing and processing issues.

3. Only a specialist can help an individual with dyslexia

   Getting professional help can be great for children with dyslexia, but it isn’t the only option. Parents have a wide variety of ways to help out at home as well, particularly involving assistance with reading, writing, homework, and feeling comfortable and valued. These efforts can be just as important as the leg up sought through schools and specialists, and parents don’t need a degree in special education — just patience and love.

   I absolutely agree with this statement. I have had to learn how to work with Ben and Sam and have assisted them through their educational journey. For our family I have found the most helpful information and knowledge was given to us by The National Association For Child Development (NACD), www.nacd.org. They helped to understand the underlying issues for both of our boys and gave me strategies and exercises to overcome the challenges. I encourage every parent to learn as much as they can, attend conferences, do research, have your child evaluated, join listserves, read articles and books and never ever give up.

4. Girls can’t have dyslexia

   While dyslexia is more common in boys than girls (a phenomenon still baffling researchers), it is not exclusively male. In a 2004 study, 6% of girls ages three to 17 had a reading-related learning disability. It is notable, however, that some believe there is no discrepancy at all. Rather, they think the gap between diagnoses stems from differing societal gender expectations rather than actual lack of reading ability. Either way, it’s important to watch both male and female children for signs that he or she is struggling with reading.

   In our family, the girls don't have dyslexia...but we might have some other issues.

5. Dyslexia can be outgrown

   As children grow up, they may struggle less and less with dyslexia, as they learn new methods to improve their reading and spelling skills. The reality is, however, the learning disability will follow any child into adulthood and cannot simply be outgrown. It is a lifelong battle for many, and even those who’ve mastered these skills will still read slowly and not automatically.

   Hmmmm...I agree and disagree. If you are able to work on the specific areas of the neurodevelopmental profile that are affected I think you can resolve all or most of the problems. However if you do not figure out what those areas are or a child decides they do not want to do the work involved in eliciting a change I agree that the child will learn methods and compensatory skills that will help elevate their issues but they will continue to have some challenges and struggles into adulthood.

   Dyslexia cannot be diagnosed in young children

6. While some children aren’t found to have dyslexia until later, professionals and specialists in the field can accurately diagnose it as early as age five. Many schools will not test children for dyslexia before 3rd grade, wasting precious time and causing undue difficulties. Parents who believe their child may have a learning disability should pursue testing as early as possible, as an early diagnosis can help kids get the help they need before their difficulties become more pronounced.

   Again I will reiterate that it is more important to find the underlying issues that present themselves as a learning disability or label of Dyslexia. To get your child the best help possible you have to go beyond the label. Ben and Sam have different issues and we work with each of them differently although their diagnosis would be the same. I didn't want a one size fits all approach to addressing the needs of either of my children. Pinpointing your child's specific needs is crucial to helping them succeed.

7. There is a cure for dyslexia

   Dyslexia is not a disease, it is an educational issue. As such, there is no cure. Individuals who have the condition cannot outgrow or get rid of their reading difficulties. They can, however, learn to overcome them, and there are number of successful treatments and programs to boost competence in reading, writing, and spelling abilities — though they may continue to struggle throughout their lives.

   I would answer this the same way I answered the myth about a child outgrowing Dyslexia.

8. Children with dyslexia simply lack in phonics instruction

   There is no indication that additional phonics training will help a student with dyslexia. In fact, many children with the condition already have a pretty good grasp on phonics — they just can’t apply it. Knowing how the word should be sounded out and being able to do it are two different things, and the inability to reconcile them is a key issue that many dyslexics face. While phonics tutoring can be a big help to children (and adults) with dyslexia, do not believe claims that it will cure or eliminate any difficulties.

   For both of our boys site word reading was the way to go. I will never forget sounding out the word "cat" for Ben and then asking him what word did I just sound out. He had no idea because he couldn't put the sounds together. Phonics rules were taught to Ben but he wasn't able to use them until he became more skilled in his reading.

9. The solution for dyslexic children is to read out loud more

   Some parents and educators would like to believe that practice makes perfect, but for children with dyslexia, this method simply won’t work. Reading out loud will not teach them how to pronounce words and may push them towards other methods, like context clues, to simply guess at what the page says. Only structured tutoring and practicing phonemic awareness skills can help dyslexics improve their reading.

   Again understanding and addressing the underlying issues makes reading easier. Ben did not like to read aloud, Sam likes to read aloud, Ben loved books on tape, Sam doesn't listen to books on tape. Ben does well with Kurzweil (an adaptive technology program that reads to him), Sam can not understand the voice on Kurzweil.

10. Dyslexia is rare

    Unfortunately, dyslexia is all too common. The NIH estimates that it impacts over 20% of the U.S. population. This means one in five people will have varying degrees of difficulty writing, reading, and spelling. Often, individuals have very mild dyslexia that goes overlooked or undiagnosed and receive little assistance with their reading difficulties.

    I think processing issues are often overlooked and rarely diagnosed correctly. We need to stop looking at the symptoms, ie reading/writing difficulty and instead find the underlying cause and address those issues.

11. It is too late to help adults with dyslexia

    While it is best for those with dyslexia to get help early on, there is never a time too late for individuals to address it. There is a wide range of training and tutoring programs that can help adults with dyslexia improve their reading skills and phonological abilities. In fact, many of the same methods used to teach children can help adults with the condition as well.

    I do believe that the same methods and strategies used to help children can help adults. Jeff will be using Ben's program Dragon Naturally Speaking to help him dictate emails, letters and quotes at the office.

12. Dyslexia only affects a person’s ability to read

    One of the more noticeable effects of having dyslexia is difficulty reading, but this isn’t the only ability that may be affected. Children with the condition may also struggle with sequential memory and following directions, which can make tasks like tying shoes, doing mathematics, or typing just as challenging as reading. All of which could easily cause a wide range of other challenges in an educational setting.

    I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot, but again it is more important to figure out the underlying causes. In our family we see issues with auditory and visual processing, fine motor skills, reading, writing, spelling, math and organizational skills.

13. If a child can read, he or she can’t have dyslexia

    Being able to read isn’t a sign that a child doesn’t have dyslexia. Many kids get quite good at using reading strategies like context clues, word shapes, and guessing to give the appearance of literacy. The reality is that many have auditory processing problems preventing them from hearing a word’s individual sounds, so they cannot read by sounding out the letters. When reading progresses to higher grade levels, these alternative strategies no longer work. Many kids are diagnosed with dyslexia later on, despite appearing to read fine early in life.

    My guys showed issues early on. I was sure Ben had issues when he was four and Sam came to us with many different issues and he added more along the way.

14. All children with dyslexia will get help from LD programs

    Not all children with dyslexia meet the requirements for learning disability programs offered through school. In fact, many only accept those with the most severe reading difficulties. While over 80% of children with a learning disability have dyslexia, only 1 in 10 will qualify for special education. This means that parents, tutors, and help outside the school are a must for many students who struggle with reading, spelling, and writing.

    In our situation, Ben never wanted to be in LD or special ed classes. He knew he could understand what they were teaching he just needed help to show his work on paper and he needed assistive technology help with his reading and writing. I felt Ben needed the challenge of the regular curriculum to keep him focused on school and to keep him from getting bored which would have had a negative impact on his behavior.

15. Children with dyslexia will never learn to read well

    Will dyslexia always affect an individual’s ability to read? Yes, but it doesn’t mean they can’t learn to become good readers and writers with a little help from tutoring and school interventions. Many people with dyslexia have gone on to become successful authors, scientists, and businesspeople, so there is no reason to believe it curses one to a life without reading — it just might prove more of a challenge for them than others.

    The last point is the same one I have made over and over in regards to this article. If the underlying issues are figured out and worked on great improvement can be seen.

    As someone who has been on this journey for awhile I have learned that a label of Dyslexia gets me services in the school district but it didn't tell me enough about the challenges my children were facing. To help them I had to understand them. I suggest families look at neurodevelopmental programs and see if that is a possibility for their family situation. If not research, read and attend conferences and workshops but first and foremost really get to know your children. Knowing what their strengths and challenges are is very important. Facing these types of challenges can affect a child's self esteem and it is important to focus and help them pursue their strengths and those things that truly interest them. Ben's work ethic, interest in vehicles, love of making money and his natural curiosity on understanding how things work and how to make them better is his driving force. Sam's love of food, travel, swimming and being with his family is his driving force. A label of Dyslexia is not the end of the world. In my experience the label came with it's challenges but it also presented some amazing strengths. Ben's amazing memory, problem solving, mechanical aptitude, persistence and determination is going to take him far in this world. Sam's positive attitude, persistence and curiosity will continue to help him figure out what he really wants to do as he gets older.

    Both of my boys are learning how to overcome challenges, how to compensate, how to problem solve and how to become the best that they can be. With their level of persistence I don't think anything can hold them back!!

Reflecting and Praying!

Wow, 2010 was an amazing and again challenging year. I'm pretty sure that God doesn't want me to get bored....honestly.....a little boredom would be appreciated. REALLY...I would be okay with that.

But when I look back on the past year I have so many positive things to reflect on. When a new year begins I always find myself looking back further than just that year, I tend to reflect on the progress I have seen through the years. This crazy journey I am on with my children requires me to always reflect on where we started and to appreciate just how far we have come. That reflection allows me to remain positive and focused as I start each new day.

Benjamin will turn 16 on January 23rd and he is hot on my case to set up his driver's test. Where did the time go?? I still look at Ben and see the little boy that felt the need to use his tools to take apart everything in my house. Ben was never happy until he had taken something apart, figured out how it worked and sometimes made it work better and other times just smashed it to bits. Hmmm, funny...some things never change. I was just looking at pictures on Facebook of his Rhino, the truck he bought when he was 14 that got rolled at J & H and his current love, the monster diesel that has caused the UPS man and I to see each other more than I thought possible. I used to get excited thinking someone sent something to me or something I ordered came in from Land's End but now I seem to only get packages from www.puredieselpower.com. Don't even get me started on the dating...still taking deep breaths to get through that.

Ben as a child always had unlimited energy and a never ending stream of questions which some felt was ADHD and that medication was a must. But I never went there...although the year I homeschooled him I was tempted. Instead my mind just kept telling me we had to help him learn how to use that energy productively and I had to come to terms with the fact that I was going to hear the word "Mom" a minimum of 1,000 times a day. I needed to learn how he learned, what worked and what didn't so I could help him and those that worked with him. I still chuckle to this day when I see Ben skip across a room because he is excited...it was always like a little release of stored energy. I have been negotiating with Ben since he was three and I often feel that he just gets better at it and I get....well, more tired. Ben and I have a point blank relationship. He has never held back in letting me know what he is thinking or how he is feeling...I just wish sometimes he would curb his impulsiveness and comments so we could have a productive conversation instead of an explosive one but I understand the need to let off some steam too...it's just part of having an intense personality. I have always preferred that his outbursts be with me and not at others...because I love him, I can forgive him and I know the outbursts are often due to his feeling challenged or misunderstood. I walk a fine line with Ben trying to help him advocate for himself and at the same time motivate him to try harder.

I look at Ben and remember the frustrated little boy and the long hours of homework as he struggled to focus and as his struggle with reading, writing and spelling threatened to destroy his self esteem. We have come so far. I rarely have to do homework with Ben, we still team study for exams and I sometimes help him organize larger projects but he is doing well and has maintained his ability to remain in the regular curriculum without LD or special ed help. He is a fighter and I am so very proud of him.

And then there is Danielle, my sanity child...my ray of sunshine. She has an innate gentleness and kindness about her. She has always shined bright even when the attention on her brothers seemed to be greater. I have to remind Jeff and myself that she is a gentle soul, unlike her brothers more powerful personalities and she requires gentle persuasion. In recent years she has come into her own, able to stand up to Ben and put him in his place while getting Sam to do as she asked within a count of 3. Danielle makes me laugh, she and I are kindred souls and enjoy spending time together....of course sometimes during our road trips we all need a little space but really...who wouldn't after being locked in a van together for 10-15 hours at a time. We pick on each other and we laugh a lot. She is simply an amazing personality and I know God sent her into my life to help me maintain some sort of balance. Ummm...good luck with that Danielle.

Danielle is my sports playing, Zumba queen. She is so much more coordinated than me and I know she is going to do great things in this world and continue to be happy. Jeff and her share a special relationship since he is the driver to most of her practices and games. Don't even get the two of them started on John Tesch...they are addicted to his radio show...I get to hear so many random pieces of wisdom. Danielle was an amazing baby and toddler and she just continues to grow and develop into a wonderful, dare I say...teenager. I love you Muttsy!

And Sammy...my amazing big guy. Oh, the lessons you have taught me through good times and bad. I still think about Sam on our road trip this summer climbing mountains, hiking for hours and never ever complaining that his hip hurt...but it probably did. This little trouper went on to learn how to ride his bike, I just watched the video the other night when I was feeling a little sad. He worked so hard to achieve that goal and took such pride in showing everyone what he had accomplished. As I watch the video I can't help but notice how stiff his left hip looks...didn't notice that when we were in the moment. And now as Sam is in his 5th week in a full body brace he continues to amaze me with his compliance and attitude. I would not be this great of a patient and yet he greets me every morning with a smile and a hug. We are quite the pair in the morning, him in his body brace and me struggling to bend over for a hug because my back is so stiff.

I am thankful for the amazing road trip we had this summer, its memories have helped me get through the rough times. As I look at the pictures I smile at the happy times and relive the adventures we had. God surely set that trip up knowing what the next couple of months would bring.

The other night I watched a video when Sam was 3 or 4 and he only made sounds that we hoped would some day turn into speech. Sam still struggles with speech but he has come so far. He has tons of words now and many phrases to address his needs. I still wait and long for conversational speech, active listening and appropriate responses but I am encouraged by the steady changes I am seeing.

In Sam's 10 years he has had more struggles than most of us will face in our lifetime but he never lets that get to him. He just continues on with a confidence and attitude that all of us should learn from.

Ben, Danielle and Sam have taught me to change because that's all I really have control over. I determine how I talk, act and feel and in kind that determines how my children talk and interact with me. Ben's difficult situations challenge me to treat him the way I would like to be treated without bringing in the emotion or negativity that so often can take over our interactions. Both Ben and Sam love attention, but Sam is teaching me the power of positive attention. He requires me to place more emphasis on the things done right than what he attempts and is unsuccessful at. If I get frustrated he is more than happy to follow suit and just shut down. I am a work in progress and if I am tired or anxious I struggle to maintain my composure but I try to remember the lessons Sam is so desperately trying to teach me. I love you big guy!

I have never been a person that made New Year's resolutions...I instead make daily resolutions. I resolve to treat my children with positive attention and to be open to their level of communication. I resolve to focus on the positive aspects of my life and count my blessings. I ask the Lord to guide me every moment of every day...I can't do this life alone. I have often had people tell me I'm an amazing Mom and they don't know how I do everything I do...but if I'm honest...I'm just a regular person that has been put into extraordinary situations and by the grace of God, we get through.

This year I hope to open my heart and mind in order to continue my efforts in building community around Sam. Sam and I have been together since day 1, during hospitalizations, medical crisis, homeschooling and home therapy and everything that has been required due to his medical and immune system issues. We have been through a lot and we enjoy each other and work well together but Sam needs to learn how to interact and work with others too.

This is an issue that is so hard for me.

I get anxious when I see someone interact with Sam and he gets frustrated because they don't understand him. I get anxious when Sam won't show his skills and abilities and I worry that a teacher or therapist will lower their expectations instead of figuring out how to work with Sam. I get anxious when I see another child ignore or treat Sam differently. I get anxious that someone will miss a subtle change in Sam that is a red flag for me that medically something is about to happen. I get anxious that Sam will be overloaded by too much sensory stimulation and his behavior will reflect that. I get anxious that a child may run into and bump Sam causing him to fall on his fragile hip that has just been rebuilt. I get anxious that someone may not recognize that Sam's behavior is a pain reaction and not Sam being stubborn or non compliant. I get anxious that both children and adults will talk less to Sam because he is difficult to understand or he doesn't always answer appropriately. I get anxious that someone may perceive Sam's ability as low due to his limited speech expression instead of giving him other ways to express himself appropriately. I get anxious that someone will misinterpret a hearing issue as a cognitive issue. I get anxious that Sam will get frustrated and shut down. I get anxious that Sam will withdraw and enter his own world.

I...just....get....anxious...

because I love this little boy with all that I am. I will end with something I found on a fellow blogger's site, thank you Debbie at Finding Normal, http://debbie61497.blogspot.com/:

WHEN

When you are the neediest,
He is the most sufficient.
When you are completely helpless,
He is the most helpful.
When you feel totally dependent,
He is absolutely dependable.
When you are the weakest,
He is the most able.
When you are the most alone,
He is intimately present.
When you feel you are the least,
He is the greatest.
When you feel the most useless,
He is preparing you.
When it is the darkest,
He is the only Light you need.
When you feel the least secure,
He is your Rock and Fortress.
When you are the most humble,
He is the most gracious.
When you can't,
He can.
~Author Unknown

Happy Birthday, Sam!!!

Today is Sam’s birthday and he is 10 years old. Where did the time go? What an interesting and amazing journey we have been on and continue to be on.

When Sam was born he changed my world. I had a plan for my life and I was happily in the middle of it. I had gone to college, established my career in Marketing Communications, married the love of my life, began my family and as I looked into the future…I had it figured out. I would gear back my career while my children were little and when they were in school I would again jump into my career where the sky was the limit and I would excel.

Hmmmm, but then Ben began to struggle in school (not part of my plan). I had to regroup, rethink things…so I decided I would have to wait and help Ben while he was in school. Okay, it would be harder to jump back into a career with that much time away but I figured it was still doable.

Danielle was my happy go lucky little girl. She was a happy baby, toddler and jumped into school without any problem. She was my athlete and I had to shuffle my schedule for her practices, games and activities but life was going along great.

And then along came Sam. I had always wanted 3 children. When I was little and played dolls, I had 3 children. Now…I can say that Sam’s arrival changed my world and it was a shock but if I’m being honest…and as I reflect on my life today….God was preparing me. From little on I knew I would have 3 children. Upon the birth of my first 2 I had an overwhelming need to give thanks and give back for the blessings given me by these two children. I volunteered my time at Make A Wish and the Ronald McDonald House. I became familiar with Children’s Hospital, special needs children and was in awe of the many families I met that were on a journey very different from mine and yet I felt we were so alike.

Ben introduced me to the world of learning issues. I began to realize Ben learned differently and we struggled as we tried to figure out how to help him but I was always amazed at his strengths. Ben looked at the world with a level of detail I could not even imagine. We could walk into a place and Ben would always remember so much more, down to the very smallest detail than I could have ever hoped to. Ben taught me how to work with him and that teaching journey included yelling, crying, frustration, feeling hopeless at times, jumping into homeschooling and a whole lot of prayer for guidance…but we have come so far. Ben is a sophomore at our public high school and he requires less and less help from me. We have found the path that works for him…it is not without its hills and valleys but he is moving forward.

When Danielle was born she seemed to give me my balance back. Here was this sweet, kind, caring and happy child that just flew through school with ease. I’m pretty sure when I was little and playing with my dolls I had all Danielle’s. She is my “ray of sunshine”, she is one of my travel partners, she has watched me work with both Ben and Sam and has never felt slighted. She loves and hates her brothers just like any sister would. She certainly doesn’t give them any leeway or treat them as different…well except for her soft spot for Sammy (sorry Ben, you don’t seem to have a spot…she would consider you more of like a rash??).

And then along came Sam…as stubborn as Ben, as creative as Ben, able to get in the same trouble as Ben, happy and caring like Danielle, smiling and laughing like Danielle and yet so very different from both of them. Sam’s journey has not been an easy one. His multiple diagnosis and medical issues have all been a journey of their own…but they don’t for a moment take away from who Sam is. Sam is an amazing little boy that has captured my heart, changed my life, re-directed my goals/career and has challenged me to re-think everything I thought I knew. Today I realize that my original life plan was okay…a little generic but I would have made it work…but now my life is full. I enjoy my time with Sam…him teaching me and me struggling to teach him. Sam has strengthened my faith in God, he has challenged me to be a better person. Over the years I have had to really look at myself, my strengths and my weaknesses, my thinking and my beliefs and I often failed the challenge. And with every failure/challenge and break through is another lesson learned. When I used to volunteer at the Ronald McDonald house I would often see a family going through a challenging episode in their lives and I would think to myself, “how are they continuing…if that were my child…why…how is this going to change their life…what does the future hold for them…what would I do??” Sam has forced me to answer each and every one of those questions.

I never signed up for this journey…I never thought my life would have taken these turns but I’m not unhappy, I’m not miserable…I embrace each day and I simply love my children and my life.

Tomorrow is yet another twist in the journey. My heart hurts for the pain and discomfort Sam will have to go through to have his hip repaired. My heart hurts for my child. But Sam is challenging me again, to get him through this, to not let this define him. As Sam’s mom I have learned that no matter what diagnosis/illness/challenge we encounter…we will not let it define who Sam is or our lives. It may interfere, cause us to re-group, re-think but we will get through this too.

Sam, I love you. I love the way you smile and the way you laugh so I have to laugh with you. I love the smell of your hair against my cheek when you give me my daily hugs. I love running my fingers through your hair and tickling your neck. I love how you rest your hand on my shoulder when you have something to say to me. I love the never-ending, “Mom, Mom, um Mom”. I love how you say “Yesssss” with an elongated s sound. I love how a bad day for you can turn completely around with a diet Pepsi, or a trip to the movies for popcorn and of course, a diet Pepsi. I love how you react to things in nature, not just noticing them but becoming fully absorbed in them. I love how your face lights up when your Dad walks in the door and how his reflects yours. I love how you still smile and laugh in your sleep. I love watching you figure things out. I love how you seem to secretly communicate with our dog Buddy. I love listening to you relive your day as you go to sleep. I love how you walk with your very own swagger and the expression on your face when you run to get your ice cream. I love how you always say please and thank you. I love watching you sing "Happy Birthday" and blowing out your candles...at least twice sometimes three times. I love just being with you.

Sam, I simply love you! Happy Birthday, my big boy!!!

Please everyone, let’s get those prayers going. Pray for God to be with Sam and comfort him, keep him calm, help him to relax. Pray for his surgeon, his anesthesiologist, his pulmonary doctor and all the nurses and medical staff that God would guide them. Pray for Jeff and I to stay strong, to be comforted with the type of peace that can only come from the Lord our Savior. Pray that Sam comes out of anesthesia well and that he adjusts to his brace and is ready to come home in a short period of time. Pray that we are all able to come together at Christmas and give thanks for the greatest gift of all, the birth of Jesus Christ.

Waiting For Superman...My View!!

I was recently given the opportunity by K12* to attend the movie "Waiting For Superman". This movie has spurred a public uproar regarding the state of our public schools.

"Waiting for "Superman" is a powerful and courageous film. It shows that great schools come from great teachers. And it exposes the forces that deny children more of both.
Many problems plague our public education system and there is no single solution. But this much is clear: It's not the kids. It's not their parents. It's not their neighborhoods. It's an outdated bureaucratic system, the special interests that benefit from it, and the politicians who protect it. Children’s futures must not depend on the zip code where they live or whether they win the educational lottery." http://www.donewaiting.org/

Having attended public schools in Wisconsin and graduating from high school and college with honors my perception of school was always positive and I felt that I had received a solid and good education. I was surprised to learn:

"Despite spending more than $9 billion on public education every year, less than 40% of Wisconsin students are proficient in core subjects such as reading and math while nearly 20% of students end up dropping out." http://www.donewaiting.org/

I had good teachers, bad teachers and exceptional teachers. I never really thought that much about the curriculum or the administration, or the teacher's union because school was easy for me.

And then...

I was blessed with 3 children, 2 with learning differences. I prefer differences over disabilities because after having worked with my children for many years they have taught me that just because they learn differently it doesn't mean the way they learn is wrong or less, it's just simply different. But by working with my children, working with our school system and working with NACD families throughout our state, my perceptions of school/education have changed. I have the unique experience of having a child very similar to me that just flies through school, no worries, very few issues. I have a child that struggles with reading, writing and spelling and hates school but has gifts/strengths that continue to amaze me. I have a child that challenges me every step of the way to figure him out, work with him and generate that spark or interest that will encourage him to engage and learn.

The job of a teacher...a really great, exceptional teacher...is one of the hardest jobs in the world. They are to be commended for their devotion to children. Due to Sam's health/medical issues I have had to homeschool him for many years. Sam has taught me alot over these years and I wish I could say it was all positive. He has shown me my weaknesses, my issues and has challenged me each and every day to become better, to listen to him more, to get into his world and try to understand what matters to him, how he learns, what works, what doesn't and to never, ever give up. Having had that experience my perception of teachers has changed. I do what I do because Sam is my child, given to me by God and I love him to the depths of my soul. He is my passion and I will work with him, enjoy him and love and teach him because I believe in him and his potential.

Now how do I expect another individual, a teacher, a stranger to understand what it takes to help Sam learn??? They have 20 other kids in their class and they simply don't have the time it takes to figure Sam out. But, if I stand behind that line of thinking...then I have already given up on our schools and our teachers. If I look at a broader view and not my own little world, most families can't do what I do with Sam. Both parents need to work or they are a single mom/dad, individualized teaching programs cost money and the time commitment to teach a child like Sam is huge.

In the movie "Waiting For Superman" the five children followed were fairly typical and they were fighting for a good education, a chance to succeed...so can you see my dilemma? What if these children had learning issues or were in need of special education, those parts of our public school system were not discussed. One of the children followed was attending a private school and that is the route we chose to start Ben's education. Smaller classes, more individualized attention, more attention spent on strengths...life was good but not without it's problems. But then that school closed and Ben joined the ranks of the public school, the only other school in our area that would accept an ADHD, Dyslexic learner. I became the parent liaison for special needs families because I love helping other families but I also needed to enter the system, understand the system and make it work for Ben. Ben is in the regular curriculum with a 504 plan. Each year I send out an introduction of Ben to his new teachers and each year I wonder if this will be a good or bad year. Ben's success depends on many factors, if the 504 plan is followed, if the teacher uses both visual/auditory teaching methods, if the information is presented in a manner that engages Ben's mode of learning, if the teacher's presentation method holds enough intensity to spark Ben's interest, if the teacher can see past Ben's weaknesses and focus on his strengths, if the teacher is open to using different teaching methods. I know that's a lot of "if's" and that's just the start. Learning is a two way street. Ben's success also depends on Ben, if he gets enough sleep, if he decides to reign in his focus/attention issues, if he advocates for himself, if he works with a teacher that is trying to work with him, if he chooses to use his adaptive technology or guided study hall regularly, if he puts stronger interests aside and chooses to focus on his education, if he keeps his behavior in check and if he doesn't get too frustrated and chooses to give up.

If, if, if....and any one of those "if's" getting out of whack can mean a really long year of school. But the Ben's in our schools are the "think out of the box" kids, they are problem solvers, they learn to compensate better than other children, they are inventive and when their intrigue is sparked the sky is the limit. I believe these kids, the ones we say are Learning Disabled are probably the ones if worked with and given the chance to pursue their interests could change this world. Our schools spend a lot of time/effort on the honors, high honors kids and yet these are the kids like me that really didn't need all the help...school was easy. We liked school, we liked getting good grades and many of us have gone on to do great things.

But what about the other kids? The ones that struggle. In the movie they showed the time frame of President Bush signing the "No Child Left Behind" act. One of the scenes that struck me was when he said "You don't like testing, too bad, we have to test". Argh!!! Testing...I understand it's purpose but I often wonder how many kids are held back, challenged less, given up on because of testing. I have 2 children that test terribly. If I based my teaching/work with my children on their test scores they would never be doing the work they are now proficient in. I believe that observing a child is so much more powerful than a standardized test, but again that requires time and individual attention.

Another area that peaked my interest and always has is state spending per pupil for education. According to the donewaiting.org site the average spent per pupil in Wisconsin is $12,235. We have had both Ben and Sam on a home program through NACD (http://www.nacd.org/). Ben for a few years, Sam since he was 18 months old. This program has been the answer to our prayers. They look at Ben/Sam from head to toe and create a truly individualized complete program for them. Our program for Sam includes academics, physical therapy, occupational therapy, behavior, vision therapy, speech therapy, sound therapy, focus/attention therapy, auditory processing, daily life skills and any needed intervention that will help Sam continue to grow/learn and reach his full potential. I would not have made the gains with my boys without the help and support of NACD.

We were originally told by well meaning medical professionals that with Sam's multiple issues he would have difficulty walking, he would have difficulty being potty trained, eating & swallowing, and the most devastating he would probably have the cognitive ability of a 2-3 year old child. I got angry, I wanted to know where they got their crystal ball. How can you look at a child that has never been worked with, a child that has never been given a chance to show their strengths or abilities and determine what they will be like as an adult? What if that happened to all of us? What if when you were born your parents were told everything you wouldn't be able to do? Would they have given you the same opportunities or experiences you have had in your life or would it have changed the way they treated you? It was through faith, stubbornness and NACD that Sam surpassed his medical expectations. By the age of 3 Sam was fully potty trained, walking, reading and beginning to enjoy the process of learning. This program is working for Sam, we are getting through and Sam is enjoying learning.

And yet...

Our NACD program costs us $210.00 per month, just $2,520 per year in comparison to the school's $12,235. A program individualized to our child that supports and empowers us as parents to work with our children. Our family was fortunate enough to get Family Support and the State Waiver for Sam this year and for a short time they agreed to pick up the cost for Sam's NACD program. Other parents from our state began to pursue the same for their children but were turned down. I could have kept my mouth shut and thought of only my child but that's not right, that's not fair so I decided to rock the boat knowing that Sam's coverage would be jeopardized. I again placed faith and hope that our bureaucracy would choose to do what works, would listen to parents who believe in the program and can demonstrate through their children the success they have seen...I again placed hope that they would think about the child. But...unfortunately they let me down again, they pulled Sam's funding saying that unless NACD can provide peer reviewed research showing the benefit of their programs they could not fund it. How is NACD supposed to fund peer reviewed research on every type of diagnosis their program works with considering each of their programs are truly individualized to the child and get it published in reputable scientific journals?? NACD is spending their time working with kids and teaching parents how to work with their kids not spending that same precious time documenting and pushing paper work. Our government and our state seem to place a higher importance on paper work than working with our children. A well done IEP, Katie Beckett form, Family Support Application is what they seem to want, it’s all about the documentation and we have forgotten about the child. That well written piece of paper is not going to teach Sam or any child to read/write or learn. It is the people that work with them, their parents, their school, their therapists and it is providing those people with the needed support that is going to truly make a difference in Sam and other children's lives.

I do not know how to fix our schools? I have been concentrating on figuring out what will work with my children and sharing that information in the hope that it will benefit another child.

Hmmm...maybe Sam's challenge is his answer to the problem?? What if our politicians and school administration were challenged to do the same thing Sam requires of me...what if they acknowledged their weaknesses, issues and challenged themselves to become better, to listen more, to get into the child's world and try to understand what matters to them, how they learn, what works, what doesn't and to never, ever give up. Sam's answer is better than anything I could come up with. Thanks Sam!!

I do think the suggestions documented at http://www.donewaiting.org/ of:

1. Create more high quality schools. Because every kid in every neighborhood deserves access to a high quality school we must expand proven school models, such as high performing charter schools, and failing schools should be reformed or closed. Insist lawmakers back policies that allow for equal treatment of all schools, in terms of facilities and operating funding.
2. Demand an effective teacher in every classroom. Support polices aimed at recruiting, promoting, and retaining the best, most effective teachers based upon student results and treat them like a valued professionals, not widgets.
3. Support the Milwaukee Parental Choice program so that qualifying low-income students can attend any school of their choice as long as the accepting schools agree to accountability for public dollars with the same tests as public schools.
4. Put the needs of kids before the politics of special interests. http://www.donewaiting.org/

These are all a good start and would benefit every child. If we don't figure this out we are only hurting ourselves. We have all heard the phrase, "our children are our future". When will that become more than just a phrase?




*Like the parents in the film, Waiting for Superman, K12 believes that access to a quality education is one of the most important things we can give our children. K12 is the leader in online education for grades K – 12, with tuition-free, public school programs in more than half the States and D.C., as well as a private online school – the K12 International Academy – serving students across America and in more than 40 countries. Students in K12 schools get the best of both worlds: engaging, online curriculum along with award-winning books and hands-on materials, plus one-to-one attention from highly qualified teachers. All students receive an individualized learning plan, creating an educational program that is tailored to their learning style, pace, and needs.

Learn more by visiting K12.com or connecting with our community of parents and teacher on K12’s Facebook, Twitter, and Blog. Discover more about K12’s Wisconsin’s online public school option at WIVA.

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Helping Teachers Understand Dyslexia

In my last post I talked about the importance of writing a letter of introduction to your child's teachers. This letter should contain some history, your child's strengths and weaknesses and your hopes and dreams for their future.

Along with that letter, I also outline from various sources what is Dyslexia, what is it like to be Dyslexic and how Dyslexia affects my particular child. Every child with Dyslexia is different and it is important to help your child's teacher understand how your child is affected. Here is the supporting documentation I give with the letter of introduction, it is long so bear with me, the information is important.

What is Dyslexia?
After having done much research on Dyslexia, I wanted to provide you with an overview of Dyslexia and indicate areas that affect Ben. Like most diagnosis, no two children are alike and Ben does not have some of the issues commonly associated with Dyslexia such as delayed speech or social interaction issues.

Dyslexia is a kind of mind. Very often it is a gifted mind - there have been many famous, productive, creative dyslexics. Every one of us is unique, different from everyone else, and people's ways of coming to terms with language are some of their normal differences.
Dyslexia is a learning disability characterized by problems in expressive or receptive, oral or written language. Problems may emerge in reading, spelling, writing, speaking, or listening.

Dyslexia describes a child that learns differently. Dyslexia is not the result of low intelligence. Intelligence is not the problem. An unexpected gap exists between learning aptitude and achievement in school. The problem is not behavioral, psychological, motivational, or social. Their problems in language processing distinguish them as a group. This means that the dyslexic has problems translating language into thought, as in listening or reading, or thought into language, as in writing or speaking. Dyslexics are average or above average in intelligence. They tend to excel in architecture, engineering, science, music, art and sometimes math. They like, and are good at, hands-on activities. They often have the knack to see the "big picture" with comparative ease.

What it feels like to be Dyslexic:

When speaking to groups, I explain that being dyslexic is like running a 100-meter track race. In my lane I have hurdles, but no one else does. I have this feeling that it's unfair that I’m the only one with hurdles but don’t know how to explain it. Soon the feeling leaves me as the starting gun shoots and I take off running. I try running like the other classmates, because we have all had the same education on how to run. But then I hit the first hurdle and fall flat on my face. My parents and teachers are yelling at me from the sidelines “ try harder, the other kids are making it down the track ok, you must be lazy or slow”. Pulling myself up I try running faster and fall even harder after hitting the next hurdle. Then someone takes the time to show me how to run hurdles and like an Olympic hurdler, I outrun the other classmates. The key, though, is that I have to do it differently, the way that works best for me. Learning is like a tailored suit; it takes a while and is unique to everyone.- Girard j. Sagmiller

When we first began to figure out that Ben was different I came across the following information on Dyslexia and checked off the areas that Ben struggled with as a small child and the areas he struggles with now:

Common Signs: Pre-School
May talk later than most children
May have difficulty pronouncing words, i.e., busgetti for spaghetti, mawn lower for lawn mower May be slow to add new vocabulary words
May be unable to recall the right word √
May have difficulty with rhyming
May have trouble learning the alphabet, numbers, days of the week, colors, shapes, how to spell and write his or her name √
May have trouble interacting with peers
May be unable to follow multi-step directions or routines
Fine motor skills may develop more slowly than in other children √
May have difficulty telling and/or retelling a story in the correct sequence
Often has difficulty separating sounds in words and blending sounds to make words √

Common Signs: Grades K-4
Has difficulty decoding single words (reading single words in isolation) √
May be slow to learn the connection between letters and sounds √
May confuse small words – at - to, said - and, does - goes √
Makes consistent reading and spelling errors including: -- letter reversals – d for b as in, dog for bog √
Word reversals – tip for pit √
Inversions – m and w, u and n √
Transpositions – felt and left √
Substitutions – house and home √
May transpose number sequences and confuse arithmetic signs (+ - x / =) √
May have trouble remembering facts √
May be slow to learn new skills; relies heavily on memorizing without understanding √
May be impulsive and prone to accidents √
May have difficulty planning
Often uses an awkward pencil grip (fist, thumb hooked over fingers, etc.) √
May have trouble learning to tell time √
May have poor fine-motor coordination √

Common Signs: Grades 5-8
Is usually reading below grade level √
May reverse letter sequences – soiled for solid, left for felt √
May be slow to discern and to learn prefixes, suffixes, root words, and other reading and spelling strategies √
May have difficulty spelling, spells same word differently on the same page √
May avoid reading aloud √
May have trouble with word problems in math √
May write with difficulty with illegible handwriting; pencil grip is awkward, fist-like or tight √
May avoid writing √
May have slow or poor recall of facts
May have difficulty making friends
May not understand body language and facial expressions of others
May have trouble with non-literal language (idioms, jokes, proverbs, slang)
May forget to hand in homework or to bring in homework √
May have difficulty with planning and time management √

Common Signs: High School and College Graduates
May read very slowly with many inaccuracies √
Continues to spell incorrectly, frequently spells the same word differently in a single piece of writing √
May procrastinate reading and writing tasks √
May avoid writing √
May have trouble summarizing and outlining √
May have trouble answering open-ended questions on tests
May have poor memory skills
May not adjust well to new settings or to change
May work slowly
May have poor grasp of abstract concepts
May pay too little attention to details or focus too much on them √
May misread information √
May not complete assignments; may complete them and not hand them in
May have an inadequate store of knowledge from previous reading
May have difficulty with planning and time management

Common Signs: Adults

May hide their reading problems; many subterfuges
May spell poorly; relies on others
Avoids writing; may not be able to write
Often very competent in oral language
Relies on memory; may have excellent memories
Often has good “people” skills
Often is spatially talented; engineers, architects, designers, artists and craftspeople, mathematicians, physicists, physicians (especially orthopads, surgeons), dentists
May be very good at “reading” people (intuitive)
In jobs is often working well below their intellectual capacity
May have difficulty with planning and organization
May have difficulty with time; often too early, late or forgets appointments.
Relies on digital watches; cannot tell time
Often entrepreneurs; may have lost one or more businesses they started

Here are the basic abilities all dyslexics share including Ben:

They can utilize the brain’s ability to alter and create perceptions (the primary ability). They are highly aware of the environment. They are more curious than average. They think mainly in pictures instead of words. They are highly intuitive and insightful. They think and perceive multi-dimensionally (using all the senses). They can experience thought as reality. They have vivid imaginations.

Struggles in School

Ben struggles with Reading although we have worked on this and brought him close to grade level. His biggest struggles are in Writing and Spelling.

I have detailed each area of difficulty as I have observed, been told by his teachers and tutors and by Ben himself:

Difficulties with reading

In reading, Ben has an inability to remember letters, words, or numbers. He often substitutes names he knows for names he does not. He has no ability to scan text to locate answers, he either compensates with his great memory, reads the full text over or just gives up and gets the answer wrong. When attempting to read, he has a tendency to skip over or scramble letters, words, and sentences. He often looses his place while reading. He tends to have a poor, slow, fatiguing reading ability prone to compensatory head tilting, near-far focusing (which we have worked on with his home program), and finger pointing. Ben still struggles with reversals of letters such as b and d, words such as saw and was, and numbers such as 6 and 9 or 16 and 61. Additionally, Ben has poor concentration and can be easily distracted, he has some sensitivity to light, and delayed visual and phonetic processing.

Difficulties with spelling

Spelling is just plain difficult for Ben. The observation of spelling errors in short, simple words is the way in which most dyslexic children are first identified and is true for Ben. Ben often spells words in the way they would be expected to be spelled if the spelling system were rational, for example: does/dus, please/pleeze, knock/nock, search/serch, journey/jerney, etc. He sometimes amazes me on how he can remember to spell longer words like “component” but then can’t spell “when”.

Ben also experiences difficulties with jumbled spellings. These are spelling attempts in which all the correct letters are present, but are written in the wrong order. Examples include: dose/does, freind/friend, siad/said, bule/blue, becuase/because, and wores/worse. Jumbled spellings show that the child is experiencing difficulty with visual memory. Non-dyslexic children and adults often use their visual memory when trying to remember a difficult word: they write down two or three possible versions of the word and see which spelling “looks right.” They are relying on their visual memory to help them, however Ben is unable to do this.

Writing letters or numbers backward

Children who are learning to write invariably will write letters backward. However, Ben often mixes up “b”, “d”, ”q” or “p” and the numbers 9 & 6. These letters are the same in their mirror image and cause him a great deal of confusion. When Ben becomes fatigued or is in a hurry he will write the letter “b” as an upper case or capital “B,” because it is much easier for him to remember in terms of the direction it faces. When Ben becomes fatigued he inserts capital letters in the middle of words. I have often used the font Lexia to assist Ben with his reading. This font assists dyslexics in distinguishing b, d, p, q, 9 & 6 because they all look different in this particular font.

Ben still struggles with left and right. He compensates by taking the time to remember which hand he uses to shift his motor bike.

By far my biggest worry with Ben is to keep his self esteem intact. He understands he has struggles that other students don’t but he struggles with appearing different than his fellow students.

NACD

Ben has been on a home program through NACD, http://www.nacd.org/ since 4th grade. I homeschooled Ben in 4th grade to work specifically on reading, auditory processing, spelling strategies, and to help him research Dyslexia so he could come to understand his struggles and realize that they need not hold him back from accomplishing great things.

What are we looking for as Ben’s Parents

We want to see Ben succeed and not have his struggles overcome his abilities. Ben is a very bright boy but he learns differently. Ben can give good verbal answers but if he has to write them, he will reduce them down to something that will not make the grade. We would like to see adaptive technologies (Kurzweil, Dragon Naturally Speaking) utilized to assist Ben in making his educational process easier and more rewarding for him.

General Strategies for Teachers from Research

For dyslexics in school, it is often the way information is relayed rather than the difficulties most dyslexics have with basic skills that is the main issue to consider when teaching to the dyslexic. Key points for teachers include:
Focus on strengths while working on weaknesses. Provide a clear subject overview. Match teaching approach with learning style (ask the student how they feel they learn best). Link key concepts and constantly revisit previously covered areas of work, applying new knowledge when appropriate. Provide clear and concise visual handouts using plenty of diagrams, mind maps and even pictures. Use large text, preferably on colored paper. Build confidence by enabling the student to present work in a format that they feel confident with, i.e., verbally, through a mind map or even as a drawing. All of these forms of relaying information can prove to be at an equal level of understanding to that of a long essay and in many situations showing an even higher level of understanding. Promote good practice relating to the organization of students’ work. A dyslexic might have a weakness in this area. Files with color-coded subject areas for example will enable the individual to develop their organization skills (Juggins).

Varied Teaching Approaches Work Best

Using varied teaching approaches benefits all students but is essential when working with a dyslexic. Traditional teaching techniques are designed for the learning style of sequential learners. Concepts are introduced in a step-by-step fashion, practiced with drill and repetition, assessed under timed conditions, and then reviewed. This process works for sequential learners whose learning progresses in a step-by-step manner from easy to difficult material. By way of contrast, dyslexic learners are global thinkers. They need to see the whole picture before they can understand the parts (Evans).

The use of visual aids, such as video and other forms of visual representation, are of key importance to the dyslexic’s understanding. Visual diagrams and bullet points enable the dyslexic to see and understand the information being relayed more effectively and in a far shorter time. Plowing through truckloads of text is time consuming and often tiring. Short-term memory difficulties means that usually what is read never fully gets remembered or understood. Using diagrams, models and charts as notes are a useful tool in linking concepts and revising subject areas at speed. Unlike heavy blocks of swaying text, images are usually pleasurable to look at for the dyslexic. The diagrams that promote learning and itemize key points should be plain and to the point to be most effective. (Juggins)