Challenges and Blessings, A Long Post To Catch Up!

Tonight I am tired, I am calm, I am humbled but most of all I am blessed. In the last two weeks we have had 6 doctor's appointments, including 4 trips to Children's Hospital. Add in 8 therapy appointments, another sick child, homeschooling, a good friend of Sam's having major surgery and the day to day things that we all face, dinners, laundry, house cleaning and oh yeah...sleep...seem to be kinda neglected. I didn't have time to return calls to friends, I didn't have time to update the blog, I didn't have time to work on Sam's next fun unit study on the human body or put his books on tape, I didn't have time to read my book for book club or work on the afghan I am making for my wonderful daughter and a lot of those things are what helps me to maintain my calm and balance. I just sorta floated through these 2 weeks, trying to stay on schedule, trying to maintain some semblance of balance...but some weeks you just trudge through. What I was amazed at...was that I didn't feel out of control, I didn't feel overwhelmed...I was tired but at peace. So often people will leave comments on my blog about me being a super mom but honestly I'm just a regular person put into some challenging circumstances and doing the best I can to make it through. I am often asked how I make it through...I have only one answer...through faith alone.

If I would have sat and thought about these two weeks and all that has transpired it would be so very easy to fall into depression, bouts of anxiety or wasted time worrying or asking why?? All the stressful stuff I put in God's hands and I look for the blessings...because they are always there....sometimes you just have to look harder than others.

We began with a follow up visit to Sam's orthopedic surgeon. Sam is walking less, putting himself in traction or laying down more and we seem to be sliding backwards instead of making forward progress. His x-ray didn't seem to show any new bone growth. Sam's surgery was in December and by this time his doctor would have hoped to see some progress made in regrowing Sam's missing ball for his hip socket. He couldn't tell by the x-ray why Sam was having more pain and discomfort so he asked us to do a CT scan. I was hoping that Sam could do this without sedation...hope is good but sometimes reality wins out. Sam laid down on the CT table after yelling at it a couple of times and hitting it, letting everyone know that he wasn't happy to be there. We then attempted to get him settled but in true Sam style every time I told him to keep his feet still...he had to move them...he just had to. I tried reverse psychology and told him to move them, hoping he would stay still but that backfired too. We left with a return trip scheduled for the next day for a sedated CT.

I drove away with a heavy sigh knowing that sedation isn't always easy on Sam but we would get through this too. We returned in the morning. I really liked our anesthesiologist. He asked me if there was anything I needed to tell him about Sam. I started my speech, "Well, you should be aware that Sam has upper airway issues, pristine lower airways, so no asthma, but scaly, narrow upper airways. He has a floppy airway, an extra esophageal fold, an anatomy anomaly of 3 bronchial tubes instead of 2. He tends to overreact to medications so less is more in Sam's case, he will go into a shallow breathing pattern when sedated, steroids make him manic so if intubation is needed he will come out of sedation manic and he may come out manic without them, if Sam begins to have respiratory issues vaponephrine is the drug of choice...but other than that he is an amazing little man and the love of my life." He looked at me and said "Wow, you are an amazing medical mom." I quickly replied "Well, he needs me to be." He continued to compliment me, something I don't really handle well because I don't feel amazing or remarkable, I feel as I often say like a regular person who has been put into difficult situations and is trying to do the best I can. I have my good days but don't even think for a moment that I don't have my bad ones too.

The anesthesiologist decided to ask the "NO" boy what fragrance of anesthesia he liked. I always lets them give it a shot in case Sam decides to answer with a yes, but each one was greeted with a strong "NO". He then looked at me and said "I'm guessing I'm going to get a NO on every thing." I told him his guess was correct and Sam knows that he is going to have to ingest or breathe in one of those and he simply doesn't want to have anything to do with that. He asked me about positioning Sam, I told him it would be best to let him sit up, have him sit behind him, bring the mask around, Sam will look to me for reassurance and I will tell him to take a deep breath and that everything is okay. If he is going to be laid down, than place a rolled blanket at the base of his neck in order to fully open his airway.

Sam again yelled at the CT table and let it know that he was not happy to see it but then he climbed on. I took off his shoes, the anesthesiologist sat behind Sam and as he brought the mask around Sam immediately looked to me with wide, panicked eyes. I smiled and told him he was alright, go ahead and take a deep breath and I am right here with you, I'm always here with you. Sam quickly drifted off to sleep and I left the room to let them finish with the CT scan. They wheeled Sam to the recovery area. Most kids with a short blast would have slept for about 5-10 minutes...45 minutes later Sam woke up as the nurse began to remove the leads on his chest. He popped up like a jack in the box and said "Mom, go home, eat." I told him to relax until we brought the table down and I offered him some water to drink. Now for the real test...I asked him "Sam, have I told you lately...", he answered immediately "I love you" and I told him "I love you too". "Let's go home and get something to eat."

We also visited the dentist and Sam's pulmonologist, she looked almost giddy as I told her Sam was being homeschooled. Sam's pulmonologist is extremely supportive of Sam being homeschooled because he gets sick less often and she isn't required to find the magic pill that will keep Sam from going into respiratory distress. Believe me, we have tried many and I don't think she will ever forget when I brought Sam in to see his pediatrician after he had taken a preventative steroid and inhaled medication. Sam was fully manic, running around the office, pulling things off the wall, kicking, babbling incoherently...a completely different child. It took two of us to bring him there since he wouldn't keep his seat belt on and kept trying to escape from the car. I calmly explained to the pediatrician that if they wanted Sam to continue taking these medications I had his suitcase in the car and he could move in with him until they got this worked out. He quickly called Sam's pulmonologist as I waited to come up with a better plan.

Sam's dentist was wonderful again...see another blessing!! He got more done with Sam than he hoped and Sam gave him a hug when he left.

We finished all the home test kits but need to take Sam to the hospital for the lab work next week. Sam is obviously in pain since he won't walk far, asks for his wheelchair and puts himself into traction but Sam doesn't complain, he rarely cries and he faces each day with a smile. His frustration level is lower but with that said he continues to plug away at his NACD program and his academics. This is a blessing!! I remember a time when Sam would have been more than happy to throw a complete fit because he felt rushed or our time frames were shorter. It used to take me a long time just getting him interested in doing something. The level of intensity to teach Sam was often beyond my ability...but now he just jumped in, complained at times...but that wouldn't be Sam if he didn't complain and we completed as much as we could in between all the appointments.

So what is Sam working on??? He is writing his letters with www.thetvteacher.com and he absolutely loves this program. Sam was recently found to be cross dominant. NACD does not like to use the word dyslexic because it groups many different learning disabilities under one umbrella. I have always felt that Sam exhibited many of the same issues that Ben has so I wasn't surprised. With that said, like Ben...Sam will struggle with reading and writing. Sam is also working on his writing with his Ipad using the Pocket Phonics app and the Letter Writer app. Sam is writing notes to his Dad, brother and sister and he is writing sentences about pictures of him. Sam at this point is tracing dotted letters. He is not at the point of writing a requested letter freehand. When he tries we often see him starting in the wrong area or making the letter in the wrong direction.

I determine many of Sam's fun unit studies using www.brainpopjr.com. These are short animated videos that teach the educational elements covered in a 1st-3rd grade curriculum. If Sam is interested in the topic, he is engaged in the video. Here is Sam watching the BrainPop video Exercise. I look for eye contact, acknowledgement of auditory cues and his overall attention span.

When I see Sam is interested in a topic we go to the library for books. We look up videos on Netflix or www.cosmeo.com. We do projects related to the topic and we have fun expanding on what the BrainPop video covered. We are finishing animal classifications and habitats and will be working on the Human Body next.

Math has always been a challenge with Sam. For the longest time he didn't like to count, didn't like to identify numbers and certainly didn't want to work with numbers. I worked with a lot of manipulatives, finding math in everyday situations (like # of plates needed to set the table) (how many grapes do you want to eat?) (Give Buddy 3 treats, he only ate 2, how many are left?) You get the idea. We then used large manipulatives and magnets for beginning addition. Sam has a one to one correspondence issue. His finger moves faster than his brain. So using something large to move or the resistance of the magnet allowed his brain to catch up. We now use the Kid Calc app on the Ipad and we do what NACD refers to as modular math. Here is a sample page and a couple of videos showing Sam doing his math.

We have a lot of work to do on math yet but I'm encouraged that he is making progress. Wait...that's another blessing!

To begin working on Sam's cross dominance issue we are working on his visual processing and also eye exercises such as hitting a ball extended on a string. Sam likes to hit it forward and back but struggles when the ball goes from side to side. We also use targets for the nerf gun and have him play basketball.

I use a button schedule for Sam to help guide him through his day. I put the buttons in a container, shake them up and then have him choose it and match it to the activity. The buttons are also part of a work box system to help organize Sam's materials.

For reading I use a variety of books and approaches. Due to Sam's cross dominance he requires a larger font and fewer words on a page in order to be successful at reading. Soooo...that made finding the right books difficult. Sam likes Arthur chapter books but the font is smaller and I need to blow these up on a copier to make them work for Sam. I have found a couple series of Scholastic books that work very well for Sam. The first is Discovering My World which corresponds nicely with the BrainPop videos.

I like these books because they have a single line of text on each page in a large font. The pictures are large and well done. The topics are interesting and engaging without going overboard. The books are written at about a second-third grade level and they teach the child about 5 major points on each topic.

My next favorite is the Welcome Books. These books also have large and interesting photos. The text is large and there is only a couple of sentences on each page.

I was recently excited to find another line of books at our library that also correspond well with the BrainPop video series. These are Lightening Bolt books.

They have vivid pictures, large font and just a few sentences per page. These are great books to also work on speech/language as you talk about the pictures shown.

I also record books on tape for Sam, again I Sammy-ize it. I use Henry and Mudge books and change the characters to Sam and Buddy. This way I don't need to make up stories I can just use the Henry and Mudge stories but peak Sam's interest by bringing him into the story.

Sam's absolute favorite books continue to be...books about Sam, go figure. NACD refers to these as Experience Books. The Experience Book pictured below is part of a series of books I put together regarding Sam's road trip this summer. I also use this same format to put review books together for Sam. Right now I am working on his animal classification and habitat book, using a single page for each animal and 5 good points to know about that animal. These books require some computer savy but they are relatively inexpensive to put together. I use 65 lb. cover stock, print the pictures and text from my computer and then put the pages into 8x8 scrapbook filler sheets. You can often buy these in lots inexpensively on Ebay. I laminate the front and back cover, punch holes and secure the pages together with pipe cleaners. Sam loves to read books about himself and his adventures. These books also allow him to share with his friends and family details about his trips. He reads the text and then can talk about the pictures. It has always been difficult for Sam to share because of his delayed speech.

To check Sam's reading comprehension we often play a treasure hunt game. I use old containers and hide messages through out the house. In Sam's case the treasure hunt normally leads him to a favorite snack. We work on Sam's fine motor skills as he opens the different types of containers (jars, toothbrush holder, travel soap dish, travel shampoo bottle...). He then reads the clue and has to follow the instruction. I try not to assist with the reading beyond pointing to the words or having him read it a 2nd or 3rd time. Doing something like this makes reading go from word identification to something more functional. He needs to read, think about it, remember it and act on it. Some days our treasure hunt goes quickly and others he struggles with comprehension and memory but he always loves to play.

I tend to use a variety of grade level books to get ideas. Sam isn't a huge fan of worksheets so I try to incorporate the ideas in ways that are more Sam friendly. Here are some of the books I browse for ideas.

Here is one of the reading ideas from the book. They had a printed story and questions.

I then take this idea and Sammy-ize it. Yep, that's my technical terminology. So I take the same story but make it about Sam and Buddy, which Sam would rather read about. I write it out on a white board (much more Sam friendly than paper and it allows me to increase the text size and spacing) and I make the questions multiple choice, circle the answer and verbal. Even though Sam struggles with writing it doesn't mean he is unable to do this type of work, it just has to be modified to work for him. So here is Sam's version of the same thing.

Here is another example of working with the beginning sounds of words. The book showed this idea.

And then I Sammy-ize it by putting it on a white board and using magnets that Sam can move to complete the words. So it looks like this:

Sam loves magnets and we remove the task of writing by using the magnetic letters instead.

In spelling we work on spelling things that are important to Sam, like his name. I now use a magnetic picture holder to attach pictures of family members, our house (so Sam can do our address), and items he would like to buy at the store so he can work on a shopping list.

One of my favorite science books because of all the cool projects and the fact that I can usually Sammy-ize them is this one:

We also do fun unit study's like "From Grub to Ladybug". Sam liked watching his ladybugs go from a grub to a chrysalis to a ladybug. We have also done the same with butterflies and will work on creating and observing an ant farm next.

I picked up these kits on sale at Shopko, all of them were less than $5.00 each. The really cool part of Ladybug land was that the top was a magnifying glass so you could see the grubs and lady bugs up close and personal.

I struggled for a long time with art projects for Sam because of his sensory issues he didn't like anything that got him dirty or was sticky or required glue or a scissors. I now found a cool little device called the Crayola Cutter which allows Sam to cut much the same way he would use a pencil or marker. After much work on sensory issues Sam has now become comfortable with paint and play dough. He enjoys creating his own masterpieces, telling me what they are and then displaying them on the refrigerator. Here is Sam creating.

And here is Sam showing his wonderful creation called "Beautiful Waterfall".

Now we also do field trips. Since September we have gone to Discovery World museum in Milwaukee. Sam loved how the water entered into the aquarium area.

He also loved to watch the jellyfish and didn't seem to appreciate my asking him where SpongeBob and Patrick were?

He really liked the same exact area that Ben was always fascinated by...the pulley and lever area. He got a pretty good workout lifting himself up in this chair. Not easy with Sam's low tone.

He also liked the atomic reactor area. I was so excited to see him listen to the computer and press the button when they told him to. Listening is a skill we are still working on.

Sam's absolute favorite part was of course eating lunch at the top of the museum on the deck overlooking Milwaukee and Lake Michigan.

Through our family support program we have a membership to the Milwaukee County Zoo so Sam can see his beloved otters. Of all the animals at the zoo, Sam is fascinated by the otters. Considering how much they move, swim and dive...I can understand his fascination.

He could sit there all day if you let him...

but we had other things to see, animals to classify and habitats to check out. Another fun area for Sam was of course...the zoo train ride.

He smiled from ear to ear again on this ride.

Sam loved the seal and sea lion show.

The show is entertaining and they keep things moving which helps to keep Sam interested.

Sam took this picture, he might just be a budding photographer.

Our final stop was at the butterfly pavilion. Unfortunately by this time Sam's hip was beginning to hurt and we had to end our day, head out to the car and allow Sam about 15 minutes to stretch out in the back seat before he was able to sit upright, put on his seatbelt and head back home.

We also purchased season tickets through our homeschool group to see the theater productions put on by First Stage Children's Theater. Our first play was Seussical and Sam loved it.

So...in between the medical stuff we have been keeping busy. Another blessing that has come our way through our Family Support program is a respite provider hired through College Nannies and Tutors. A couple of weeks ago a wonderful UWM student named Makenzie began taking Sam out and about around the community to give both he and I a much needed break. The break allows me to prepare Sam's homeschool program, run errands or just relax and it allows Sam to engage and have fun with someone besides Mom. Makenzie is studying to be a school psychologist and loves spending time with children with special needs. Sam really likes Makenzie and always looks forward to when she is coming. They have gone to the playground, on a hike, bowling, playing basketball and swimming at the YMCA, to the library and enjoyed the Port Washington marina. Makenzie comes 3 days a week for about 3 hours each time. I am so thankful that our wonderful case manager arranged this for us and that College Nannies and Tutors was able to find a perfect match for Sam and our family.

Sooooo, I have to say again...yes we have challenges and more than I thought we ever would but we also have blessings and for that I am thankful. Just the fact that after so many years Sam is finally working with me and we are enjoying his journey in learning together...that is a huge blessing for both of us. For my friends with children with special needs I hope I have given you some ideas and please, please feel free to ask me questions. I enjoy hearing from everyone!!

A few years' experience will convince us that those things which at the time they happened we regarded as our greatest misfortunes have proved our greatest blessings.
George Mason