Monday, January 18, 2010

A Day in the Life...

I have spent a huge amount of time this last week preparing Ben for finals. Yesterday, he and I buckled down to complete 10 chapters of questions for Biology that he did on Dragon Naturally Speaking, locating and organizing flashcards from two classes and writing out in as small of text as possible...while still remaining readable...a half page note card for his World Studies final.

In an effort to break away and relieve a little stress my husband and I had a date night on Saturday which included dinner, the Snowrunner's Dance and not getting home, unbelievably, until 2:30 a.m. I needed that...thank you, Jeff!!!

After going to church and taking Sam to Sunday school I also had to get his new NACD program ready for a fresh start on Monday morning. This included arranging the 53 small post it notes that contain each element of his program, finding and organizing and sometimes creating the flashcards, mirror, computer books, CD's, DVD's and PowerPoint presentations that help to make that process go smoothly. If that is possible????

Soooo, last night as I finished helping Ben study for his World Studies exam I finally crawled into bed at 10:45 p.m. I was so tired, I was sure I couldn't do another thing. But I was wrong. Instead of blissfully falling off to sleep to dream about less stressful times in warmer climates with fewer responsibilities...I instead couldn't turn my brain off. I was reviewing Sam's program, organizing Ben's final exam study schedule, figuring out when I would go into work this week, trying to remember where I put Sam's Arthur Math computer game, worrying about how Ben was handling the stress and how close he was to shutting down, figuring out how I would get Sam to do some of his oral motor activities (not exactly the favorite part of program), wondering what dinners I could throw together quickly this week, worrying about my Dad's health and other friends who are dealing with health issues, wondering how Sam is going to do this week as he starts some classes in the public school, worrying about what that could mean to his health, thinking about what else needs to be done before we launch the new Possibility Playground website, worrying about how my balance with Danielle is so far off due to the boys and how I will correct that, thinking about the friends and dinners I have put on hold to make this life....this crazy And there was more, the thoughts, concerns and commitments just kept spinning in my head never allowing me to stop and fall asleep. At 2:00 in the morning I was hoping they would start to spin so fast I would get dizzy and pass out, at 3:00 I was up checking a possible Sam hiding space for his math program (I found it)...this continued until 4:00 am when I finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion. I remember looking at the clock at 3:45 and telling myself, think of nothing besides your breathing. At one point when I was so close to falling asleep I started thinking again about why I didn't think of this a heck of a lot earlier and had to start all over. Arrrgghhhh!

I power slept until 6:00 am when my husband woke me as he got ready for work. Five minutes later Ben was up asking me to study and I had to get him on the bus at 6:45. While I was studying with Ben, Sam woke up and began making noise in his bedroom. I knew a new day had begun even though I felt like the last one had never ended. It's funny how things come to you, how suddenly you see a situation in a new light with new meaning. I always say it's God's way of sending me little messages. As I was listening to Ben jump from story to story in order to tell me everything he was thinking of at that moment and I listened to Sam talking about what he was going to do and what he was thinking about, "Sam, get up, go downstairs, see Mommy, Daddy go to work in truck" I realized that my very difficult evening must be very much like Ben and Sam's everyday. I have always said that Ben and Sam remind me of a very busy train station or an air traffic control station in the busiest airport on earth and they are the only one's there running everything. These two boys have so many thoughts, ideas and just stuff running through their heads every moment of every day. My one night is nothing compared to their every day. I think God wanted me to appreciate the difference, understand the challenge and respect the tenacity it takes for them to focus and learn.

It had to be God because he also gave me the strength to have a wonderful first day working with Sam and to have just enough strength, patience and perseverance to make it through this day. I am not stressing, I am not feeling sorry for myself...I am counting my blessings, I am thanking God for lessons learned, experiences shared and for giving me the privilege of learning from two of the best teachers in the world. You see both of them learn best when they experience and do it themselves...this is just another day and another valuable lesson learned.

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